Alan Alda
 Q. First of all, I have a comment to make before we begin the interview. What’s a guy like you….?
A. Stop right there. I don’t do interviews.
Q. Fine. I didn’t want to interview you, anyway. I was told you’re an arrogant smart ass. Evidently, you are, huh?
A. No, I’m not an arrogant smart ass. But, I am opinionated. People just get pissed off at me because I won’t sit down with reporters and waste my valuable time answering stupid questions.
Q. My questions aren’t stupid. But, you’ll have to judge that yourself. What if I put away the tape recorder? Can we have a simple, intelligent conversation?
A. It depends on what do you want to talk about.
Q. Women’s rights. Are you interested?
A. What about them?
Q. Well, before you got up on your soapbox and started telling everybody about ERA and women in the workplace, I thought ERA stood for “earned run average.” What does it stand for?
A. ERA stands for the “equal rights amendment.” It may be the most important thing to come about in this country since the civil rights movement.
Q. In what way?
A. We’re basicly living today in a man’s world. Particularly, in Hollywood. Women are used in the industry as sexual objects and not much else.
Q. Can you explain that?
A. Men write the scripts, direct and produce the movies, get the recognition and make all the money. Women have had very little input on anything in this business, until now.
Q. Well, there must have been a reason for it. Why?
A. Absolutely. The masculine mentality has always created this image of women as a whore, as a maid or as a cook. They can frolic in the bedroom or the bathroom, but forget it when it comes to the boardroom.
Q. And you think that’s going to change?
A. It will if I have anything to do with it.
Q. And why are you so adamant about equal rights?
A. It’s simple. I owe my life to two women.
Q. You want to explain that?
A. It’s a long story, but I’ll be brief. When I was a kid, I nearly died from polio. Back in those days, Jonas Salk hadn’t come up with a cure for the disease. I was devastated.
Q. What happened?
 A. My mother and our black maid took care of me. They used primitive, but effective home remedies. Lots of stuff you’ll never find in physician’s medical books.
Q. And it worked?
A. Eventually, yes. Persistence, prayer and bed rest paid off for me.
Q. Then what happened?
A. My mother and the maid were so elated after I recovered, they went to the local hospital and told the authorities they had nursed me back to my health. They wanted the hospital to treat other polio patients the same way they had treated me.
Q. And they refused?
A. Sure. At that age in time, women health care professionals in the medical profession were practically unheard of. Women were employed in hospitals, but their main skills were mopping floors and emptying out bedpans. No one was interested in anything a woman had to say. And, besides, one of these women was a black person.
Q. Are you telling me that the hospital rejected their good intentions and were prejudiced against them because they were women?
A. Rather adamantly. What they said to my mother was bad enough, but what they said to the black woman was insane, insensitive, uncouth and unnecessary.
 Q. And so you’ve been on your ERA soapbox ever since?
A. More or less. Fortunately, it’s much easier now for women to use their skills in the professional workplace. I’m sure, in some cases, the problem hasn’t been solved, but, in the entertainment industry, there’s certainly not as much prejudice.
Q. So, what does the future hold?
A. Your guess is as good as mine. I’m hoping things will be a lot easier and the end result will be more productive.
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