 The first time I ever laid eyes on Michael Douglas, he was pumping gas in a neighborhood Texaco service station. I didn’t know his name then, but I immediately noticed the uncanny resemblance to his famous father, Kirk Douglas, when the lad with the big smile and the dimple in his chin walked over to my car and offered to clean my windshield.
How ironic it was, I thought, when Cinema Center Films said, a number of years later, they wanted me to go on tour to promote Michael Douglas’ first picture. I glanced through the press kits and read all the usual studio hype, including the stuff about Michael’s humble beginnings, which, naturally, included the aforementioned stint as one of the men with a Texaco star.
 We had all heard a great deal about this “chip off the ol’ block,” who was Kirk Douglas’ son. “He looks so much like his dad, it’s incredible,” one newsman told me. Father Kirk kept his fingers out of Michael’s career. Michael even stood in line to test for “Hail! Hero!” a powerful film that dealt with the confrontation of the sensitive moral issues of Vietnam on the home front and with the tragedy of the generation gap. The film “spoke out” for a segment of American youth and carried the shock of recognition for possibly millions of parents.
I remember sitting in a small screening room, with a number of film critics, watching Mike’s first picture. Everybody wanted to find out if he could hold his own up there on the big screen or if he would be just another good looking kid following in the footsteps of a rather famous father.
To be sure, Mike had all the facial expressions, complete with the sexy dimple, and the mannerisms of his famous father. It was an uncanny cinema experience. Much to our surprise, however, he did a “more than credible job” in his film acting debut.
He was a sympathetic character with a lot of charisma, somewhat in the manner of a young Billy Jack, (but a better actor), one of those younger generation people who tolerated and understood the older generation on film, but didn’t always agree with them.
I suppose it could have been one of those roles that established Mike as a young rebel, but the older press guys (and, especially, the gals) really liked him. It was a very impressive performance.
“I was determined to start my professional career outside of Hollywood,” he told me. “I felt it would be much better because of my father’s status in motion pictures and because I wouldn’t have to deal with friends of his at the beginning.
“It may sound like a cliché,” he continued, “but after I decided to become a player, I turned to New York, because I wanted to discover my own values and not be influenced by parents or their friends.”
When Mike and I got together later on the set of his second movie, “Adam at Six A.M.,” in a little town on the outskirts of Excelsior Springs, near Kansas City, I found him to be a perfectionist and a total likeable person.
“Hail! Hero!,” was premiering in Boston. Since Mike couldn’t, obviously, make a personal appearance in Boston, the film studio made arrangements to bring the Boston press to Mike.
I think maybe that said something about Mike’s popularity, even then. I mean, we’re not talking about “rinky dink,” obscure journalists here, Charlie. We’re talking about veteran, callused, cold-blooded newspaper types who had seen it all and reported most of the great moments in show business film history (including, no doubt, some of father Kirk’s rather infamous antics).
This little band of elite film critics, who usually wanted bottles of booze and a friendly companion in their hotel room at night, only wanted one thing – to meet Michael Douglas. Most of these writers were women in their late 50s or mid-60s from such conservative publications as the Christian Science Monitor or the Boston Globe.
Can you imagine a bunch of mature female critics being escorted by a caravan of limos, borrowed from a local funeral parlour, to a remote location way out in the boondocks (where marijuana was growing wild in the fields and the villagers didn’t even know what marijuana was) to meet a young upstart kid with long hair named Michael Douglas?
Steve McQueen had arranged for an ample supply of “refreshments” to be prepared for the visiting press, whom he said would be in a mood to party. Well, it turned out to be some party. We all sat there like a bunch of zany buffoons, with the handful of local yokels gawking at us, waiting for Mike to finish shooting.
When he took a short break, walked over and shook hands with everybody, I knew we wouldn’t have any trouble. Mike was really “down home,” as they said in those days. He smiled warmly at all the little ladies and totally charmed them with his genuine hospitality and friendly personality.
 They didn’t even seem to mind, too much, the stifling heat or the pesky mosquitoes. After all was said and done, we had a hard time rounding up “the newspaper types” and getting them back to the hotel, so Mike and the film crew could complete the day’s shooting on schedule.
You never know about people in my profession. Journalists bruise easily. And, they have frustrating deadlines to meet with editors who don’t have much patience, are underpaid, and wish they were “raising hell” a little bit, themselves, with the movie star crowd instead of being cooped up in a stuffy office with a bunch of stuffy reporters.
Sometimes, an actor can rub a reporter the wrong way simply by ignoring a tough question, or asking a reporter to repeat a question. Or answering with an off the top of their head comment that’s usually not fit to be printed in a family type newspaper.
 Most of the newspaper reporters asked the rather obvious questions in the interview sessions with Michael and I wondered if he was gonna get tired of the constant reference to the rather obvious physical resemblance to his famous father. He never did. At least, if he did, he never showed it. Later, at the hotel, he told me he thought it was a compliment.
“You know,” he confided, “being the son of a famous person in this business has its advantages and its disadvantages. I could have accepted any number of parts offered to me simply because of dad’s contacts and reputation in the business. But, I wanted to do it my way.
“I know it will be harder for me, but I also think it will be more rewarding to me and the theater-going public in the long run,” he said. “After all, they don’t want to spend good money to see some guy up there on the screen and say, ‘Oh, look, there’s ol’ so and so. Ain’t he cute?’ They want to see an actor act and judge him strictly on the merits of his own talent.”
 Michael grinned when asked if he had ever been given any friendly advice from Pop. “Well, we like each other, and we talk a lot whenever we get the chance,” he said, “but not so much about acting. Actually, I’ve picked up a lot of knowledge, just watching him work.”
Michael admitted he had become pretty familiar with movie techniques after spending considerable time on his father’s locations. (He was assistant director for “Heroes of Telemark,” in which Kirk starred, but he quickly added that he had no intentions at that time of being an actor).
Early in his film career, Michael was called “a young man of his time.” That was because the then free-thinking lad flunked out of college, went the avant-garde hippie and neo-guru routes and even wore his hair shoulder length. When pressed, he admitted, frankly, he once “dabbled” in narcotics and“turned on” several times.
Mike went the whole route – guru, pot, LSD. His experiences with narcotics proved worthwhile, he believed, because it taught him about rhythm in living. “You know how some days you feel dull and listless and other days you feel alive,” he commented. “Everyone has certain rhythms and using narcotics helped me realize this.”
But not any more. “Narcotics dulls the senses,” he noted, “and you need all the sharp edges for acting.”
Actually, Michael needed more than that. The young dude who had no hangups about being a famous man’s son, also needed a little bit of luck.
“Adam at Six A.M.” was a good movie, and Mike was good in it, but the film never made it big at the boxoffice. Chances are, you’ve probably never heard of it. Mike was simply not that well known at that particular stage of his career.
Things got tougher as Mike progressed. For awhile there, he wasn’t even cleared to use his name, Michael. Finally, he was cleared to use it in movies, but he still couldn’t use it on stage or in TV at first because of Mike Douglas, who was well known for his TV show in Philadelphia.
 When he did “The Experiment” for CBS, Michael was billed as M.K. Douglas, which he hated because he thought it sounded pretentious – like some aging character actor. (Ironically, when Michael was doing “The Experiment,” Mike Douglas was working at the studio next door and got a coupla of phone calls intended for Michael). Up until a few years ago – when Michael’s career really took off – he was well aware that Mike Douglas, if he had wanted to, could have litterly taken a giant eraser and wiped him out.
Things were bad enough as it was. After two rather financially disastrous films, Mike’s career could have been over at an early age. He was, however, determined, I think, to prove to himself, the industry and the public that he could succeed if given a fair shake. And, he hung in there, doing his thing, until the right vehicle came along.
That vehicle, of course was the successful television series, “The Streets of San Francisco.” Of course, getting the chance to co-star in a hit national TV series with a fine actor named Karl Malden didn’t hurt.
 I cornered Malden one morning over coffee and asked him what his impression was of young Michael Douglas the first time he met him. The veteran actor paused for a minute and then replied. “He reminded me a lot of his dad. Poised like a giant cat ready to spring forward and devour you at a moment’s notice. One look in those eyes and you knew he meant business.”
I asked Karl if he ever dreamed Michael would become the giant mega-star he is today. “Yeah,” he answered quickly, right on cue. “Any kid of Kirk’s was bound to make it big. With that smile, that cocky attitude and that famous dimple, he had ‘superstar’ written all over him.”
 I never doubted for a minute that Michael would make it big in the film business, if not as an actor, then perhaps as a director or a producer. The kid just seemed to have a knack for knowing what would work and how to make it work. One day, his brother, Joel, called and said Michael wanted him to send me a film script to read and pass on to a few of my Texas friends for a possible investment proposal.
The script, which had been optioned originally by Michael’s father, Kirk, had “made the rounds” as they say in Hollywood. Coffee stains were prevalent on almost every page. And, I suspect, if one had looked with a magnifying glass, they would have detected the fingerprints of some of the best known stars in show business, like Al Pacino, Robert Duvall, Dustin Hoffman or Robert Redford.
 I glanced over the script and quickly recognized the commercial elements that Michael had visualized, but, unfortunately, I couldn’t “give the script away.” When I told Michael that everybody had turned thumbs down on his project, he seemed saddened in disbelief. Then he said, softly, “No matter, my friend, some day they’ll be sorry.”
As it turned out, Michael eventually co-produced the film, which won five Oscars, including the Academy Award for Best Picture in 1975. The name of the film that Michael Douglas sent me was “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”
Well, that’s show biz, baby.
DON ALY’S HOLLYWOOD
“The trouble with Hollywood is they have too many bra busters and not enough drug busters.”
DONNYFUN NEWS
First of all, let’s get something straight up front. Rick Spears, the talented artist-type chap we mentioned last week, who designed the movie marquee at the Don Aly Theatre at the donnyfun house, is not Britney Spears’ grandfather. “I get that everywhere I go,” Spears joked. “It gets annoying after awhile. Don’t get me wrong, I think Britney is a fantastically talented young lady, and I kinda wish she was related to me. It would be nice to sit around the Christmas tree and listen to her sing carols, while counting all her money.” Spears sez it’s a hoot to give out his business cards and wait for the response after they read his name. The other day he came over to the donnyfun house to put my logo on the wall in the cabaret room. Right off the bat, he showed me his new business card. It had Britney Spears’ picture on it. (She’s fully clothed guys, darn it). Underneath the photo, in boldface type, it sez “I am not related to Britney Spears.” The back of the card does have her website info, however. It’s BritneySpears.com.
We keep adding to the celebrity displays daily at the donnyfun house. The newest “shrine” honors Elton John.
 Someone asked us the other day if we intended to showcase Michael Jackson at the donnyfun house. That’s in the works. It could happen any day now. I’ve got calls working to Michael’s people about “loaning” us one of his gloves and possibly one of his jackets. We don’t have real animals at the donnyfun house, like Jacko does at his estate, but we have a stuffed artic fox named Frosty, several stuffed dogs, a black panther, three tigers (Harpo, Chico and Groucho) and a baby tiger, two bears, Kermit the Frog, a little ape who plays bongos and sings, the groundhog from “Caddyshack” and a little brown monkey named Mickey.
The Academy Awards party at the donnyfun house was such a success, it’s going to become an annual attraction. We’ve even come up with our own version of the Oscar – which one of my friends found at Condom Sense. Just like the real deal on TV, we’ll cover the anatomy if anyone is offended. So far no one has complained. In fact, one guest remarked on Oscar night: “You know why actresses in Hollywood want to win an Oscar don’t you? It’s about the only way some of them will ever be able to take a little naked man home with them to their bedroom.”
I guess we’ll hear about it now from the Bush supporters, but a Bill and Hillary “comic ragdoll” now adorns the bar in the cabaret room at the donnyfun house. I’m not gonna tell you what they’re doing, you’ll just have to come by and see for yourself.
Photographers came out the other day and shot three rolls of film of exhibits and displays at the donnyfun house. In addition to the Marilyn Monroe dolls, the John Wayne doll, the Elvis doll, the Vivien Leigh Scarlett O’Hara doll from “Gone with the Wind” attracted the most attention. The doll is adorned in a stunning green velvet dress, like the one Miss Scarlett made from her curtains at Tara. (You can check out the Scarlett O’Hara doll by clicking the Celebrity Dolls button on the Celebrity Scene website. When the doll appears on your computer screen, click it with your mouse. It’ll take you directly to the official Franklin Mint website. You’ll see instructions there re: the price and how to order the doll for your own celebrity collection).
 If you’ve visited the donnyfun house, you know there’s a church collection plate by the entrance. We don’t charge an admission fee, but folks who tour the facility are encouraged to make contributions. All the collection plate money goes to the donnyfun foundation, (as does a percentage of sales from the Marilyn Monroe, John Wayne, Elvis Presley and Vivien Leigh celebrity doll collection). The donnyfun Foundation is a non-profit organization dedicated to the support of underprivileged youngsters and needy families. (A portion of the funds is also contributed to the support of AIDS-related organizations).
Hey – look for the donnyfun T-shirts, coffee mugs and baseball-style caps coming soon. We’ll keep you posted.
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