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 The New York Times once called Morgan Fairchild “a blonde Barbie vixen,” but I wouldn't recommend you calling her that today.
She's also been fondly called “Super Bitch,” by Hollywood directors, as a tribute, (believe it or not), to all the cold hearted, bitchy and glamorous women that she's played on television. (Others in the acting profession, and some media people, have called her that, too, but haven't meant it as a compliment).
The use of such superlatives today to describe Fairchild is considered a bit of a “no-brainer.” Morgan, who had a genius IQ of 147 at the age of 11, has such a sense of humor, she might think that it's funny. A little weird, maybe, but a lot better than being called Patsy, her real first name, when her last name was McClenny, instead of Fairchild.
Re: Patsy, she was poignant and affirmative: “I never liked that name,” she admitted. “I never felt like a Patsy.” Chances are, you probably wouldn't have liked it either, if you were a chubby kid in school and your classmates teased you and called you “Fatsy Patsy” behind your back. And, worse yet, some even to your face.
Though she is now instantly recognized throughout the world as a famous celebrity, (primarily because of her enormous TV exposure and subsequent publicity), things weren't always so easy for her in the beginning of her show business career.
 She once tried out for Miss Teenage Dallas, at the age of 14, doing a scene from “St. Joan,” but didn't win. (She was runner-up). Judges told her mother, Martha, that her daughter was too sexy to be a “Miss Teenage Anything.”
When WFAA-TV, the ABC television affiliate in Dallas, decided to produce a Dick Clark-type live teenage dance show at their new suburban studios in a local shopping center mall, hosted by Ron Chapman, the city's most popular TV personality, she auditioned with hundreds of other young girls for one of the three dancers featured on the show.
She didn't make the final cut, losing out, eventually, to Joan Prather, who went to New York and later became a television ingénue star.
 In the beginning, Patsy auditioned frequently for dinner theater productions, film roles and entered beauty contests, where she hoped to score points with judges in the talent competition. Frequently, she made the finals, but usually lost to a fellow Lake Highlands High School student, Jeanne Wilson, who became Miss Texas in 1968, the year that Patsy was scheduled for graduation. (She graduated a year early, in 1967, after taking summer school classes. She was fluent in French).
Even when she began auditioning for roles in movies, she was not always successful in landing plum roles, or, for that matter, any roles at all. She read for the young ingénue lead in “The Last Picture Show,” but didn't get the part. It eventually went to Cybill Shepherd.
Fairchild is a great one for reminding people, (including me), that “Life is a constant scenario of ‘What If's.'” (I sometimes wonder “what if” she had won the controversial part in that film? Would it have changed Morgan Fairchild's celebrity lifestyle? Well, maybe, but, chances are, it wouldn't have been half as much fun. Or, not nearly as full of zany, remarkable stories that sound like an excerpt right out a Hollywood movie script).
Like the crazy story, for instance, about the origin of her stage name Morgan Fairchild. Patsy McClenny came up with her now famous theatrical show biz name, while eating pizza at Gordo's, near the SMU campus, with Camilla Carr, a longtime actress-friend at Dallas' Theatre Three, where Morgan once worked on a prop crew.
 The name Morgan, reportedly, came from the movie “Morgan” starring Vanessa Redgrave. (She also once had a dog with that name). The name Fairchild was chosen simply because she liked the sound of it. “I liked the dignity,” she noted. “Fairchild sounded very regal to me.”
Or, what about the time, in 1970, when, at the age of 20, while visiting New York City, she was abducted by a street pimp and drug dealer, in broad daylight, who drove her around the city in a taxi for over two hours, and told her he was going to turn her into a junkie and a prostitute?
There's more, full of things the Hollywood folks like to call “the stuff that dreams are made of.” It may be hard to believe, but the Dallas-born actress, who is widely considered one of the most strikingly beautiful women in the world today, readily admits that she was somewhat of an “ugly duckling” as a kid in school, who wore glasses and was so shy she couldn't even stand up in front of her class and give a book report.
Introverted as a child, she much preferred to live with her own fantasies, and often dreamed of growing up to be a glamorous brunette like Sophia Loren. Suffering, also, frequently from asthma, she had a tendency to be a quiet “loner” instead of engaging in activities with her classmates.
 In fact, it was because of this insecurity and the intimidation she exhibited in the classroom that caused her mother to enroll Patsy in an acting class, at an early age, hoping her daughter would learn to cope with all the phobias she suffered from in her youth. (Patsy made her acting debut as a dancing wood nymph in a “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” excerpt).
Today, she addresses thousands in lecture sessions without so much as even blinking an eye, and has also appeared before audiences, (some hostile), on stage all over the world. I'm sure she learned well from the early theatrical training, but, in the long run, it was the simple words of wisdom from her mother that probably made the difference.
When someone asked her, recently, how she felt performing nude in “The Graduate,” the stage version of the movie, she remarked, “Absolutely terrified. You look out there in the theater audience and see people sitting on the front row with binoculars and you know some folks are just there to check out your wrinkles and cellulite.”
 Morgan admitted she found it strange that, at her age, people would be interested in seeing her in the nude, but observed, candidly, “The idea that anybody would actually pay money to get a glimpse of my naked body is thrilling.”
So, how did she make it through all of the live performances, (including one in her hometown of Dallas before some of her old friends and former high school classmates), without losing her cool? “I remembered what my mother used to tell me when I was a kid, just starting out,” she said. “'Don't look like you want to rush off stage.'”
Then, she added, “She also used to say, ‘Hold your head up high, throw your shoulders back, smile like an angel and you will own the room.'”
The theatrical play, “The Graduate,” was, of course, patterned after Charles Webb's book, upon which the 1967 movie, (with Dustin Hoffman, in his breakout role, paired with sexy Anne Bancroft), was also based. The play told the story of Benjamin, a recent college graduate, who “allowed himself” to be seduced by an older woman, Mrs. Robinson.
The play opened in 2000 in London, then moved to Broadway, starring Kathleen Turner as Mrs. Robinson, Jason Biggs as Benjamin and Alicia Silverstone as Elaine, Benjamin's girlfriend and Mrs. Robinson's daughter. Lorraine Bracco (Dr. Melfi in “The Sopranos”) stepped in as Mrs. Robinson in 2002.
 Although, like the movie, the play featured “Sounds of Silence” and “Mrs. Robinson” by Simon & Garfunkel, Fairchild was quick to point out to critics before she appeared on stage in the play that theater audiences should not expect the movie version of Webb's book.
“I think that a lot of people forgot how dark the movie was,” Fairchild said. “That kind of black humor doesn't work quite as well on a stage. We moved a little faster than the movie did in some ways. We tried to convey all the same ideas, without making it a total downer.
“There's this saying, that there are only six stories in the world and you find ways to retell them. In truth, it's not a bad thing if the story is good.”
When Morgan first got the offer to star as Mrs. Robinson in the play, “The Graduate,” she jumped at the chance. “Are you kidding?” she asked. “It's a fabulous part. Any woman over 35 would love this part. She's funny, sexy, interesting, complex and twisted, anything any actor would give her eye teeth to play."
Except for the “twisted” comment, Fairchild could very well have been describing herself.
  Working in “The Graduate” gave Fairchild a chance to show off her acting mettle and the stunning body of a then 55-year-old. Fairchild seemed unfazed about the nudity, a fact that should come as no surprise, since she performed nude scenes in the 1982 film, “The Seduction,” which established her at that time as one of Hollywood's “bad girls.”
Fairchild opened in “The Graduate” in Fayetteville, Ark., where theatrical audiences in the university town routinely “laughed at everything.”
“When I came out there and took off my clothes for the first time, they cheered,” she said. The next month, she opened in Dallas on election night and, despite her theatrical obligations, stayed close to her phone to get the latest political reports.
 While there was no one at the theater protesting against the play, which concerns seduction and the aforementioned nudity, Fairchild's younger sister, Cathryn Hartt, (a former model and actress, who now operates the Hartt and Soul Acting School in Addison, Texas), reportedly, overheard a conversation by some audience members concerning her politics.
“She was sitting in the theater, and some women started talking, saying ‘I'm going to tell Mary Lou she missed a really good evening.' And then the other lady saying ‘She wouldn't come because of that Morgan Fairchild. She would never pay good money to see a liberal.'”
Morgan said she thought it was funny that Mary Lou wasn't going to come to the theater to see the play because of her politics. It should come as no surprise, really, that folks tend to judge her, perhaps, unfairly, by what they read in gossip sheets or see on television.
 In reality, the actress is totally unlike the simple vixen roles she's been relegated to in television dramas like “Flamingo Road,” “Falcon Crest” and “Dallas.”
At one moment, she's perhaps erupting in fits of laughter about comedian Jon Lovitz invoking her on-air persona in a zany old “Saturday Night Live” routine, then in the next moment she's speaking authoritatively about her work in the early part of the AIDS epidemic. She gives confident voice to her politics and the realities of the American theater, Hollywood and television.
And, does it all, in about 20 minutes.
The public's low expectations of her are something she's dealt with all through her 40-year career, which kicked into high gear in 1973 when she was cast as paranoid murderess Jennifer Pace Phillips on CBS' “Search for Tomorrow,” (after only being in New York for a few weeks). Starring roles as Constance Semple in “Flamingo Road,” in 1981 and Jordan Roberts in “Falcon Crest” followed in 1985-86.
Morgan was also cast as Jenna Wade in “Dallas,” but only played the role in one episode. It would be most identified with Priscilla Presley.
 When critics began criticizing Fairchild for her penchant of playing “cold, bitchy roles,” she displayed a sense of humor about that image, and decided to have fun, while surprising her fans in the process. During the ‘90s, she appeared in a number of off-beat shows on television, including the role of Sandra Bernhard's lesbian lover in an episode of “Roseanne.”
Morgan had a “cat fight” on TV with Cybill Shepherd in 1995 and also appeared as Matthew Perry's “oh, so sexy” mother in an episode of “Friends.”
Of course, as a power-hungry Sophia Blakely, in her new TV series, “Fashion House,” which debuts nationally this month, Morgan will square off with Bo Derek, who plays fashion model Maria Gianni.
 They've already filmed two of the three “confrontations” in the series. First, they slapped each other around in a parked car, then, Morgan tried to stab Bo with a syringe in her hospital room. It's anybody's guess at the moment what will happen when the two square off in the grand finale.
Morgan thinks it will be a “doozy,” and she's looking forward to it. She's not intimidated with screen fisticuffs, having taken four years of Kung Fu lessons in New York, after watching a Bruce Lee movie, (“Enter the Dragon”), on the art of self defense.
Nothing fazes Morgan these days, who has experienced and dealt with just about every circumstance an actress could encounter. “If I can walk and chew gum at the same time, I bowl them over,” Fairchild observed recently in a press conference.
“The expectations are so low. . . . I guess people just get surprised I have very eclectic interests. Or, even, better yet, that I have a decent vocabulary.”
 When Fairchild went on “Face the Nation” to urge lawmakers to “eviscerate a bill,” she even got calls and letters from people telling her that “My god, I was so impressed you knew the word ‘eviscerate.'” (Well, I wasn't, knowing Morgan, when I heard the story, but I had to look it up to see exactly what it meant. For the record: to remove the entrails of, to deprive of vital content or force).
Fairchild once wanted to be a doctor when she was a little girl growing up in Dallas. (Louis Pasteur was an early idol). Even when she left her hometown for New York and became a star, she still found time, when she came home to visit her family, to spend a few hours, secluded in a corner at the library at TCU in Ft. Worth, boning up on paleontology.
Fairchild's interest in the study of medicine still continues. Today, she is particularly fascinated by emerging viruses and epidemiology.
That interest spurred her to become one of the first advocates of AIDS awareness and prevention during the mid-1980s, when Ronald Reagan's presidency was slow to act on the growing epidemic.
 Morgan has been a voice of sanity for AIDS for years – pointing out early that it was a disease, not a plague from God. Fairchild spoke before Congress, made an informational video about AIDS education and prevention and served on the board of directors for the American Foundation for AIDS Research. A part of the proceeds went to the AIDS foundation research. She is a member of the Entertainment Industry's AIDS Task Force.
Morgan has spearheaded numerous other fund-raising projects for AIDS. She is on the Board of Governors of APLA and Board of Directors of Amfar. Former Surgeon-General C. Everett Koop has asked her on occasion to substitute for him at AIDS events and she has also hosted an AIDS Awareness Special with news anchorman Steve Bell. Fairchild appeared twice on “Nightline” with host Ted Koppell regarding AIDS.
Morgan's other public service efforts have included leading pro-choice marches and rallies, and participating in several events to save the California deserts (including an appearance before the U.S. Senate).
Fairchild is also a frequent speaker on environmental issues of all kinds. In addition, she helped found the Environmental Communications Office, which encourages the entertainment industry professionals to become “better educated” and more active on environmental issues.
 Morgan's politics had her helping organize the 1989 pro-choice rally in Washington and co-producing a Nelson Mandela dinner that raised almost $1-million for his work related to health care for Africans.
Fairchild is also a board member for the Directors of the Hollywood Women's Political Committee, which raises money for liberal candidates for state and federal offices.
Most people, who are not movie fans or who don't go to the theater, perhaps know Fairchild today from those nutty Old Navy commercials they see on TV.
Before that, it was as the make-believe paramour of Jon Lovitz's Tommy Flanagan, president of Pathological Liars Anonymous, who would talk about “my girlfriend, Morgan Fairchild, yeah, that's the ticket.”
Charmed by Lovitz's funny bit, Fairchild got his telephone number and called him. After a few moments of disbelief, Lovitz was finally convinced that it was Fairchild on the phone.
 Fairchild's description of their phone conversation was almost as funny as Lovitz's routine. “He says, ‘Are you mad at me?' I said ‘No, I am not mad . . . (but) if you're going to build a whole career on my name,' I said, ‘we should at least talk.' We got to be buddies.”
Fairchild said that when Lovitz came to Los Angeles for the Emmy Awards show, she took him to dinner. When he was on the red carpet, he was asked what he had been doing in Los Angeles. He said “Morgan Fairchild took me to dinner.”
Whether it's appearing on “Nightline” on AIDS or CBS's “Sixty Minutes” on women's issues or testifying before the Senate on environmental causes, the public has come to respect Morgan as more than just a glamorous star.
Morgan was once the subject of a mock presidential roast. One participant asked why the public should vote for her. “Because, honey,” she responded, “After all, I'm the best-looking and the smartest blonde you'll ever meet.”
 Another person asked Morgan how she would raise funds for her presidential campaign. “I'd sell all my old gowns,” she said. And what would her presidential campaign slogan be? “Simple”, Morgan answered, “Red River or Bust.”
Morgan also told her critics that she would be against deficit spending, except, of course at Neiman-Marcus. She said that Willie Nelson would be her Secretary of Agriculture and that Bill Parcells, the Dallas Cowboys coach, would be her choice for a Defense Minister.
 Morgan also said that her campaign would encourage the legalization of marijuana, and this time, she wasn't kidding. “I would introduce legislature that would make it legal to get marijuana so people with the AIDS virus could have access to it,” she commented. “I've seen it used in AIDS treatment centers. It's the only thing that can relieve the pain and help lesson the suffering.”
When she is not out stumping for a political cause or a candidate, Morgan collects movie memorabilia, (particularly, the movies of Marilyn Monroe now available on DVD). Fairchild once said that Marilyn was the only actress that she ever really identified with, who had an influence on her career.
 That, perhaps, was not too unexpected, given the fact that Marilyn and Morgan both became famous as Hollywood sex symbols. Something else she said about Marilyn, however, caused raised eyebrows and tongues to wag in Tinseltown.
“Marilyn used to pay me visits in the middle of the night,” she strangely remembered. “We ‘talked and talked' about all sorts of things - men, clothes, money, cars, etc. But mostly we talked about acting.”
When friends and critics, alike, questioned Morgan if she had “lost her friggin' mind” about these “imaginary conversations” with the ghost of Marilyn Monroe, Fairchild simply replied, “Oh, no, these were real conversations. I suppose you could call Marilyn a ghost, but to me she was a very real person.”
Some wondered, perhaps not too tactfully, if she didn't find this a bit unusual? “Not at all,” Morgan commented, “Marilyn and I became closer in the process of our talks than I am with most of my friends.”
Naturally, folks questioned if Marilyn had anything to say to Morgan that changed her life. “Oh, not particularly,” Morgan replied, “unless you count what she told me about men.” To which dozens of anxious women replied loudly in unison: “What men? Did she tell you about Sinatra, DiMaggio and the Kennedy brothers?”
Morgan calmly answered: “She said I should always be careful in my relationships with men. It was her opinion that most men were not to be trusted. Especially, when it comes to sex.”
 This reminded me of the time that Warren Beatty “modestly offered his services” to seduce young Morgan, (she was only a 16-year-old teenager), on the set of “Bonnie and Clyde,” to relieve her of “the frustration and anxiety of being a virgin.”
Appalled at the sexual promiscuity and the lack of morals that she discovered while on location, she rejected Beatty's rather forceful advances, an experience “the great lover” seldom ever encountered in future years and something I'm equally sure he never forgot.
 When Morgan was asked if she had once “turned down a date” with Warren Beatty, she smiled and said, “Not once, honey, I turned ol' lover boy down three times - twice in Hollywood and once, when we were on the set of ‘Bonnie and Clyde' in 1967.”
When she was working as a “stand-in” for Faye Dunaway in “Bonnie and Clyde,” Morgan actually had a scene with Warren Beatty in the movie, although it eventually ended up on the cutting room floor.
I thought that it was pretty funny, actually, how Morgan sorta “stumbled into” the opportunity of being involved with Beatty, Dunaway and the “Bonnie and Clyde” movie project in the first place, though, when you think about it now, the whole thing was a pretty typical movie scenario, albeit almost unbelievable.
The way I heard it, while still a high school student known as Patsy McClenny, she was “moonlighting,” after regular school hours, recording radio commercials in Dallas, when, one night, a guy who owned one of the local production companies, called her out of the blue and asked if she'd like to be in a movie.
 He told her to show up at 4 am on the parking lot of the North Park Inn, (then a popular motel-type establishment in North Dallas, frequented by movie stars and other celebrities, that had a giant-size outdoor swimming pool, private cabanas and it's own helicopter pad located on the premises).
Just before he got off the phone, the man asked her if she had a driver's license and if she could drive a stick shift automobile. Morgan said she had a license, okay, and then fibbed about the fact that she could drive a stick shift vehicle.
Fairchild later said she enlisted friends to teach her to drive a stick shift so she could double for Faye Dunaway in the movie chase scenes. She looked like she was 20, so nobody believed she was only 16.
Morgan, reportedly, showed up at the North Park Inn parking lot at the appointed time and began milling around in the dark with all these “movie people.” She didn't know anybody, or anything about the film, much less anything about the movie production business, but she boarded the bus, anyway, with all the other designated people.
Morgan said that she rode on the bus, “for what seemed like hours,” to “some deserted place that was out in the middle of nowhere,” (which, in some remote parts of Texas in the early morning hours, can seem like a mighty long way).
“Nowhere,” as it turned out, was actually a small Texas town known as Maypearl, (located south of Dallas, in Ellis County, approximately halfway between Interstate Hwy. 35 and Hwy. 77, about 10.4 miles from “civilization,” a small spot on the State of Texas map with the provocative name of Venus).
 Once they arrived at their destination, Morgan said she got off the bus with all the other people and began wandering around looking for the movie set. “I was walking down this dirt road,” she said, “and this kid was kind of shuffling along toward me.
“I asked him, ‘Is this the way to the set?' He looked up, and his face just lit up, and he said, ‘Well, uh, yeah, yeah, the uh, it's down that way, (and pointed in the other direction). It's going on over at that farmhouse down there,' he told me, ‘you should go take a look.'
“And I thought, ‘My God, that's the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life.' And, of course, it was Warren Beatty. He just glowed. He had that real pretty olive skin with pink underneath it, and he just glowed. Even in the dawn.”
 Morgan said, when she went back to her high school, teachers would follow her around all day, asking all sorts of questions. They wanted to know what Warren Beatty was really like. She told them he was very smart. And, they'd say, “Oh yeah, right.”
Everybody knows today that he's a very smart man, but back then, he had a reputation as “a glamour boy.” It was only a matter of time, of course, before Morgan found out all about that for herself.
I'll never forget the time, at the USA Film Festival, when I saw Beatty, standing in the theater lobby, shortly after watching his film, “Shampoo,” and asked him for an interview. He snubbed me and walked away, without so much as saying a word.
 When I later told Morgan about what happened, she shook her head in amazement. At the film's formal presentation that night, when I showed up with Morgan on one arm, and her sexy sister, Catherine McClenny, (now known as Cathryn Hartt), on the other, Beatty saw us and quickly came over to say hello.
“What's shaking, baby cakes?” he asked Morgan, who ignored him as we made our way into the auditorium to take our seats and watch the movie. The next day, I saw Beatty again in the theater lobby en route to the men's room. I followed him inside and walked up next to him at the urinal.
Staring straight ahead and minding my own business, I said to him: “Nice show, Warren. Congratulations.” And then I added: “I'll give you Morgan's new unlisted telephone number if you'll give me a hot quote.”
While Warren zipped up, I wrote a number down on the front of my theater program cover, tore it off and gave it to him. Warren gave me a quote, but I don't usually repeat it or print it in mixed company.
For the record, I didn't give Warren the unlisted phone number of Morgan Fairchild. I wrote down the phone number of a young hooker at a local escort service.
 Thinking about that episode between Beatty and Fairchild on the set of “Bonnie and Clyde” and the subsequent ones later in Hollywood, made me wonder what type of men Morgan really liked. “Older fellows,” she replied, later, and then explained why: “Most of the young jocks in Hollywood think they're so cool. They turn me off more than they turn me on. I like mature men, who ‘have their stuff together.'”
Morgan once dated the late Johnny Carson as well as the late actor Telly Savalas. “I found both Johnny and Telly to be very intelligent and attractive,” she said. (Reportedly, Morgan also once dated U.S. Senator and Presidential candidate-to-be John Kerry, although it must have been a long time ago, because, to the best of my knowledge, she has lived in Los Angeles with companion Mark Seiler for the last 15 years).
 Because of her popularity and glamorous reputation, many of her Hollywood fans often wondered why Morgan never married. Actually, she was married, briefly, (1967-1973), early in her life, to Jack Calmes, an SMU student and musician, but not too many people knew it. (Calmes played in a rock band and later founded a company, Showco, which specialized in innovative creative sound and lighting techniques for touring musical productions).
During the short period of time that they were married, Morgan and Jack entertained and partied with many celebrities in their residence, such as the late rock stars Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin.
Over the years after her divorce from Calmes, Morgan noted, she had lots of marriage proposals. “Lots of men have offered me great sums of money,” she said. “I like money, but not enough to jump into a stupid arrangement that's not going to last.”
 Many gay men have also claimed to have been in love with Morgan and have wanted to marry her. Some have even said they'd “go straight” for her. Morgan, who enjoys the company of gay men, found all this quite flattering, but had to gently say to them, “Honey, I don't think it's going to work out.”
Early in her career, Morgan was labeled a “sex object” by the press. Members of the Moral Majority called her “an immoral exhibitionist.” Morgan, naturally, took exception to that in a press interview. “I wouldn't say I'm an exhibitionist,” she said. “I like to look sexy. I think I am sexy, when I want to be. It's flattering that fans think I'm attractive.”
It seemed only natural for critics to bug Morgan about her views on nudity in films, given the fact that she had appeared naked in two movies. Morgan didn't flinch when asked the questions.
“Well,” she said, matter-of-factly, “I don't go around on the set flashing, if that's what you mean. But, I have done nudity on camera, when the script called for it. It's something that I'm not entirely comfortable with, but, as long as the nudity is handled professionally, I don't see anything wrong with it. Doing nudity for shock value is a whole other thing. Some actresses enjoy shocking people, but it's not something I think is very feminine or necessary to make a dramatic statement.”
Every time nudity was mentioned, media people always asked Morgan if she posed for the 1977 John R. Collum “Dallas Nude” photographic book, that featured dancer Chastity Fox and local television personality Chantal Westerman.
 “No, I didn't,” Morgan told the press, “that was my sister Cathy, (then known as Catherine McClenny, now known as Cathryn Hartt). She has the best body in the family.” (Of course, that was before Morgan, reportedly, had her implant surgery in the ‘80s to increase her bust size to 34-D, to keep her abreast with the changing sexual mores of the times).
When asked why is was that today's movies are so full of sex and violence, she replied, “Probably because most of the film scripts in Hollywood are written by men. There aren't enough female directors in the business today, either. It's tough for a woman with brains to succeed in Hollywood. It's such a man's world.”
Early in her career, Morgan received threatening letters and phone calls after she posed for sexy photos and appeared nude on film. Did it frighten her? “Of course,” Morgan responded. “No one in their right mind wants to feel someone is stalking them or plans to hurt them. It was an uncomfortable situation for me. I had never experienced it before.”
Morgan told the FBI about it. They told her to be careful and they'd check it out. Morgan, who is quite proficient in martial arts, didn't seem too worried about it. “I bought a gun just in case,” she said. “Fortunately, everything worked out okay. But you never know. There are a lot of ‘sicko-type nuts' running around out there.”
If Morgan has a particular goal in her life, today, besides being successful, it's that she wants to continue to be happy and help others. “Life is much too short to waste even a precious minute on foolishness and frivolity,” she told reporters. “Life is much too vibrant and vital.”
 No doubt, Morgan will continue to be offered parts in TV series and feature films that call for her to play the sultry, seductive bitch role for which she is so famous. Personally, as much as I hate reality shows on TV, I'd love to see a series dedicated to America's number one bitch. Who else, but Morgan, would be the ideal hostess for the show?
Morgan, who has worked with many of the “biggies,” during her long and eventful career in show business, like Bob Hope, Gregory Peck, Cary Grant, Jack Lemmon, Willie Nelson and Bette Davis, told Ed Bark, the television critic of the Dallas Morning News, during a recent junket to Dallas, that she was appalled with the aptitude of the younger generation of actors she meets in her profession.
“They don't know who any of the people I have worked with are,” she told Bark. “You can sit in the makeup room and talk about working with Bette Davis (on the pilot episode of ABC's ‘Hotel') and they don't even know who she is,” Fairchild said. “They don't know who Cary Grant or Humphrey Bogart were, either, and they don't even know what ‘Casablanca' is.”
 Fairchild, termed by Bark, fondly, “a golden oldie,” told the writer it was frightening to her that these youngsters knew so little about the industry in which they're trying to make a living.
As startling as that may be, it's doubtful today they will not remember an actress named Morgan Fairchild. Recently, to test my theory, I asked a group of young would-be thespians who were standing in line at a TV audition, if they had ever heard of Morgan Fairchild.
“Of course, I've heard of Morgan Fairchild,” one answered, adamantly, without mincing words. “She's the gal who got naked on stage in ‘Oh! Calcutta!'”
“Wrong! Wrong!” another interrupted, defiantly, “She's the chick who bared it all in ‘Hair.' I remember it caused such a stink, they had to close the show in Texas.”
 Still another wanted to get her two cents worth in: “You're both crazy,” she demanded, “Morgan Fairchild is the blonde babe who was buck nekkid in ‘The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.' My little brother went to see it three times.”
“I saw her one time in the movie when she was naked as a jaybird,” a perky little blonde responded, “but it wasn't in the ‘Whorehouse' film. You're thinking about Candy Barr. Morgan was the gal who popped her top in ‘Debbie Does Dallas.'”
Well, so much for the credibility of my so-called theory about Morgan Fairchild. I figured by this time, it was shot to hell. Then, another young girl spoke up, authoritatively. She said that, frankly, she'd never seen any of Morgan's TV shows or movies, but she knew who Morgan was.
 While I waited with baited breath, she said, “Morgan is the actress who told that smart ass Warren Beatty to go fly a kite.” I wanted her to be more definitive, so I asked her to explain.
“Well, I don't know how to say this so it doesn't sound dirty,” she said, “but Morgan wouldn't have sex with Warren Beatty. She wouldn't get near him with a 10-foot pole. No way. And, hell, that turkey has done it with every bimbo in Hollywood.”
Well, that's show biz, baby.
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