Celebrity Zingers
July 2002
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 Johnny Carson on Elvis Presley If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and the impersonators would be dead.
Howard Rosenberg on Peter, Paul and Mary If I had a hammer, Id use it on Peter, Paul and Mary.
Carole Lombard on Clark Gable Listen, hes no Clark Gable at home.
 Ava Gardner on Rex Reed Rex Reed is either at your feet or at your throat.
 Samuel Goldwyn on Louella Parsons Louella Parsons is stronger than Samson. He needed two columns to bring the house down. Louella can do it with one.
 Milton Berle on Thomas Edison We owe a lot to Thomas Edison. If it wasnt for him, wed be watching television by candlelight.
 Hillary Clinton on Al Gore Hes got a wooden chin.
Buddy Hackett on Elizabeth Taylor Any man who isnt fascinated about Elizabeth Taylor is either a homosexual or an agent.
 Spike Lee on Eddie Murphy Hes a Hollywood Negro.
 Billy Crystal on Jack Nicholson - Jack Nicholsons so rich, Jon Peters still cuts his hair.
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