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What The Stars Have To Say About Each Other....
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Lyndon B. Johnson on Hubert Humphrey: "When I want your advice, I’ll give it to you."
Fred Allen on Jack Benny: "Jack Benny couldn’t ad-lib a belch after a Hungarian dinner."
Groucho Marx on Greta Garbo: "I thought you were a fellow I once knew from Kansas City."
Bette Midler on Princess Anne of England: "Such an attractive lass. So outdoorsy. She loves nature in spite of what it did to her."
Laurence Olivier on Vivien Leigh: "She wanted us to be like brother and sister. But, fortunately, occasional incest was allowed."
Joey Adams on Nancy Reagan: "Nancy has this recurring nightmare – she’s kidnapped, taken to A&S, and forced to buy dresses off the rack."
Dean Martin on Frank Sinatra: "When Sinatra dies, they’re giving his zipper to the Smithsonian."
Joan Rivers on Elizabeth Taylor: "Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds."
Tennessee Williams on Truman Capote: "I always said Little Truman had a voice so high it could only be detected by a bat."
George Burns on Carol Channing: "Carol never just enters a room. Even when she comes out of the bathroom, her husband applauds."
Mr. Blackwell on Dustin Hoffman: "Better as a woman. If I were him, I’d never get out of drag."
Carol Burnett on Burt Reynolds: "I’m in bed with Burt Reynolds most of the time in the play. Oh, I know it’s dirty work, but somebody has to do it."
Muhammad Ali on Muhammad Ali: "I have always said that I’m the greatest. Ain’t nobody ever heard me say I’m the smartest."
Steve Allen on Steve Allen: "The jazz critics loved me as long as they thought I was black and dead."
Oscar Levant on Steve Allen: "When I can’t sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen."
Jack Paar on Steve Allen: "I am fond of Steve Allen, but not as much as he is."
John Simon on Ursula Andress: "The name has always seemed like a spoonerism to me."
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Christopher Plummer on Julie Andrews: "Working with her is like being hit over the head with a Valentine’s card."
Joan Rivers on Princess Anne of England: "The woman is a horse."
Judith Crist on Ann-Margret: "Almost antisexual cardboard-and-siet-meringue posturing…"
Joan Rivers on Susan Anton: "She has hickies on her knees."
Lady Astor on Lady Astor: "I refuse to admit I’m more than 52, even if that does make my sons illegitimate."
Humphrey Bogart on Lauren Bacall: "If you want your coat held up, then don’t act like a fella."
Judith Crist on Carroll Baker: "More bomb than bomshell."
Fred Allen on Tallulah Bankhead: "A parrot around Tallulah must feel as frustrated as a kleptomaniac in a piano store."
Tennessee Williams on Tallulah Bankhead: "I suppose you could say Tallulah was a tramp, in the elegant sense."
Johnny Carson on Rona Barrett: "She doesn’t need a steak knife. Rona cuts her food with her tongue."
Rex Reed on Warren Beatty: "Interviewing Warren Beatty is like asking a hemophiliac for a pint of blood."
Dan Aykroyd on John Belushi: "A good man but a bad boy."
Richard Pryor on Milton Berle: "I’ve seen you in dresses, so watch it."
Victor Borge on Linda Blair: "When I was your age I was 19."
Hedda Hopper on Marlon Brando: "I regard him as a supreme egotist."
Mort Sahl on Marlon Brando: "The Indians never needed a lawyer until they got a benefactor like Marlon Brando."
Charlie Chaplin on Marlon Brando: "Marlon Brando is so real, so humerous without any sense of humor."
Miss Lillian Carter on Johnny Carson: "I thought he was an ass until I met him."
Johnny Carson on Billy Carter: "Jimmy needs Billy like Van Gogh needed stereo."
Bette Davis on Tallulah Bankhead: "Miss Bankhead isn’t well enough known nationally to warrant my imitating her."
Beatrice Lillie on Tallulah Bankhead: "Tallulah who?"
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