 “As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett
 “I was a real geek when I was a kid. When I was 14, I looked like a fetus with shoes.” – Dana Carvey
 “I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity.” – George Carlin
 “You really grow up fast in a nightclub.” – Wayne Newton
 “When I was a girl, I only had two friends, and they were imaginary. And they would only play with each other.” – Rita Rudner
 “The kindest thing I can say about my childhood is that I survived it.” – Rubin (Hurricane) Carter
 “I was kind of a mama’s boy until I was 21.” – Woody Harrelson
 “I was street smart, but, unfortunately, the street was Rodeo Drive.” – Carrie Fisher
 “I’m not ashamed of my bare-bottomed beginnings.” – Sophia Loren
 “Till I was 13, I thought my name was “Shut Up.”’ – Joe Namath
CELEBRITY FOOTNOTE
Dorothy Parker
Leave it to Dorothy Parker to have the last word:
“One more drink and I’ll be under the host.”
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